Christian Living
Two Reasons Why We Need to Correct Our Views on Love and Sexuality
Yesterday’s candid post on the Song of Songs prompted some interesting comments.
My wife said: “Ummm, babe, I think someone just hijacked your blog.”
Yes, I take that as a compliment.
My buddy Scott said, “This is by far the toughest sentence I have ever read.” He was referring to this statement:
Contrast this with the ephemeral, capricious and shallow character of contemporary loveand you see God’s vision for marriage involves a volitional, muscular emotion that has a singular and solitary intent to honor the object of it’s affections.
That’s actually my most favorite-ist sentence. And yes, I take his comment as a compliment.
Richard DeVeau’s comment is a different story.
He said, “Perhaps it’s my age, but when I read about apples, raisins, figs, walnuts and spices, I only think about pie.”
That nearly brought my yogurt through my nose.
Then another good buddy said, “Very well done. I feel that this is one of the most beautiful books of The Bible.”
I have to agree.
Finally, there’s Rob’s comment…a comment which pointed out that our silence on the topic of love and sexuality has led the culture to dominate and define it.
This is not good. Rob went on to say:
[Songs] clearly shows that sex, and even boyish giggle inducing when you talk about it sex, is a glorious & God-honoring blessing to man and woman and the only stipulation is within the hedge of protection provided by marriage.
In other words, sex within in a monogamous, heterosexual marriage is not only part of God’s original plan for creation [and indeed, a pivotal ingredient if we are going to succeed in this thing called "our cultural mandate"]–but it can also be erotic, deeply emotional and ultimately satisfying.
Rob closes his comment with two penetrating questions. Questions I want you to respond to:
How many Christian couples do you know that struggle with this? How many unbelievers do you know that have gotten a flawed view of sexuality from the church and that’s lead to them dismissing Jesus altogether?
I have to confess that my own view of sex within a Christian marriage has been distorted in the past. It wasn’t until pastors like Piper and Driscoll and a book by Kostenberger
This brings to mind something Grudem expresses the “Introduction” to his Systematic Theology
That’s not easy to do. But it’s part and parcel of developing a mature Christian mind.
And while the second question might sound shallow and baseless and somewhat offensive to an agnostic or atheist, it’s really not.
The reasons for dismissing Jesus and Christianity are often emotional and moral–not intellectual. Thus a flat, flawed view of sex within Christianity amounts to a dull, boring life…
“No thanks,” the non-believer might say.
That’s why I think it’s important to get this topic right–both for the believer AND the non-believer.
On the one hand a healthy, Christian view of love and sexuality avoids frustration and division within a marriage. Instead, it invites joy and unity.
On the other hand it allows us to control the cultural conversation and express a genuine benefit to unbelievers [not that we're trying to attempt to bribe them...merely taking an excuse away] about the passion and bliss found in Christian love and sexuality.
So what about you: Do you struggle with what love and sexuality look like within a Christian marriage? Besides reading and studying a book like Songs, how have you attempted to remedy that? And do you know anybody who’s dismissed Jesus and Christianity because of a flawed view of love and Christian sexuality?
I look forward to your thoughts. Brutal and all.
Young Men: 8 Ways to Resist Sexual Temptation
Sexual temptation is one of the most potent challenges young men face.
This was true in ancient Israel. It’s true in 21st America.
Unique to our culture, however, is the time span between puberty and marriage.
In ancient Israel, young men were often married at 16. The average today is 28.
Depending on when puberty starts in boys, that leaves a 16-to-20 year window open for sexual sin to creep in.
To make matters worse, our culture views sexual sin as, well, an unsexy myth. In fact, to remain a virgin until you are married is not only sappy, but anachronistic.
What’s also unique to our culture is the proliferation of pornography, the rising skirt line and the plummeting neck line.
Opportunities to sin sexually abound.
So what’s a young man [what's any man to do!?] who wants to guard his heart and virginity against sexual temptation to do?
In his book God, Marriage, and Family [a book worth buying, reading, re-reading and teaching to every single and married man you know] Andreas J. Kostenberger gives eight suggestions on how to safely resist sexual temptation.
Here they are summarized:
1. Pray.
One of the best prayers to pray: “Lord, deliver me!” Prayers of desperation are acceptable. As is the confession that you cannot resist temptation in your own strength. Moreover, pray at all times [not just during temptation].
2. Grow in God’s Knowledge.
When faced with temptation, Jesus demonstrated that he knew God’s word. In the same way, the word of God must live in young men and that in Christ they have overcome evil.
3. Develop self-control.
Self-control develops as the first two points are practiced over a long period of time. Self-control is a sign of maturity and a desire for a pure heart. Self-control is a main theme in Proverbs. Study it.
4. Seek Like-Minded Believers.
One of the best ways to guard against sexual temptation and pursue a virtue like self-control is to spend time in the company of strong believers.
5. Recognize Temptation Is Not Sin.
Jesus was tempted in every way, but did not sin. If young men can see that temptation itself is not sin, then they safely back away without feeling like they already sinned. Of course, the ability to tell the difference improves over time.
6. Seek Forgiveness When We Do Sin.
God’s grace doesn’t give us liberty to sin. No. It gives us liberty to confess when we do sin [instead of being immobilized by guilt] and experience God’s full forgiveness.
7. Avoid Female Paranoia.
First century rabbis taught young men to avoid women. Reversing that, Paul taught Timothy to respect women by treating them as sisters and mothers in all purity.
8. Regard Your Power to Resist Temptation with Suspicion.
We live in a culture that promotes self-sufficiency. That’s dangerous on many spiritual levels, notably the will to control our passions. Don’t trust yourself when it comes resisting sexual temptation. Instead, lean on God.
This isn’t an exhaustive list. So what other ideas can you suggest? What strategies did you employ in your own experience to guard against sexual temptation–whether young or old?
Granted, this list isn’t for young men only. It’s for men of all ages. [And women. Women struggle with sexual sin, too!] As I’m told by a few men who are 60 and older, the ability to sin sexually may flag, but the temptation never does.
And by the way, one of the best ways to avoid sexual temptation is to do as Joseph did when Potiphar’s wife came on to him–run.
Does God Care About Art?
**Guest post by copywriter and painter Richard DeVeau.**
Our introduction to God at the opening of Genesis places us in the midst of His work as creator of the universe.
We get to look over His shoulder, if you will, and watch as He creates everything from nothing.
Beauty for it’s Own Sake
Not only do we see God create things that serve a purpose and function, but we also see He creates some things simply to be “pleasing to the eye.”
While beauty is the sole reason for some of God’s creation, it is also apparent in all of His handiwork.
Created in His image, we too have the ability and desire to appreciate and create beauty.
The imagination, creativity and beauty are clearly important to God, making them important to us as well.
What About Now?
But what role does imagination, creativity and art play in our lives as Christians today? Is being an artist a legitimate vocation for Christians? Why do some churches have such a negative view of the arts?
First, by “art” I mean every creative discipline: music, dance, painting, sculpture, performance, film, writing, and those endeavors that combine and straddle these disciplines.
So let’s look at these three questions in order.
Cultivate Culture
In his book, Simply Christian
Creativity and the arts are central to our response to the Genesis 2:15 mandate to “cultivate the earth.”
This is a culture-shaping directive.
We are told to influence and impact our culture (which by definition includes art, music, literature and other endeavors) to reflect God’s glory.
In his book, Art for God’s Sake
Christian painter and writer Makoto Fujimura, in his book, Refractions: A Journey of Faith, Art, and Culture
And John Calvin said, “All arts come from God and are to be respected as divine inventions.”
Art of the Bible
And if we look at the content of the Bible itself, we see that 75% of it is narrative,15% is poetic, and 10% is instructional.
This means that 90% of the Bible is story and poetry, which engages and appeals to our imaginations in order to communicate God’s truth.
The imagination, creativity and the arts are intrinsic to our understanding of God, the world around us, and ourselves.
Artists Are Called
As the Bible has the answers to all of life’s questions, this is where we will look to determine whether or not being an artist is a legitimate vocation for Christians.
In Exodus 31, God has just given Moses explicit, detailed instructions for building the tabernacle, the structure where God will manifest His presence on earth and communicate with His people.
God then tells Moses that He has chosen Bezalel to build it, with the help of Oholiab. God says:
…and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts, to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of craftsmanship.
Not only does God call these artists by name and bless them with the very gifts they’ll need for the task, but it is also worth noting that this is the very first time in Scripture where God fills someone with His Spirit.
Ryken states, “Taken together, skill, ability, and knowledge refer to what the artist is thinking in his mind, feeling in his heart, as well as making with his hands. The artistic work that Bezalel and Oholiab did came from their whole persons.”
But God could have built the tabernacle himself.
On this issue Ryken adds, “Instead, God called artists to make the tabernacle, and to make sure that they did it well, He equipped them with every kind of artistic talent. By doing this, God was putting the blessing of His divine approval on both the arts and the artist.”
In addition to calling Bezalel and Oholiab by name, we see in Genesis 4:21 that Jabal is called “the father of all who play the harp and flute.”
God clearly chooses some men and women to be artists.
I could go into more depth than this post will allow to cover how we can know if we are being called to be an artist, but suffice it to say that the short answer is passion, gifting, commitment to developing and honing our skills, and submitting our work to be judged by others.
Artists and the Church: a Rocky History
But why does the church tend to hold a negative view of the arts and artists?
At one time in history, the church was the world’s largest and most influential patron of the arts.
Then came the Reformation, where the arts, particularly the visual arts, were deemed secular endeavors that encouraged idol worship and were essentially banished from the church.
In its defense, the church has a right to be suspicious of an endeavor that is so susceptible to becoming idol worship. The commandment not to create graven images is still debated in some circles today.
Suffice it to say it is not the image itself that is sinful…it is what is done with the image and the image maker.
But the answer isn’t to simply reject all art and all artists.
Doing so has caused great harm and has resulted in many lost opportunities to glorify God through the arts once they were rejected by the church and relegated to the world.
As Ryken stated earlier, we need to regain a full biblical understanding of the arts, and that goes for both the church and the artist.
Reclaiming The Arts and Imagination for Christ
While the church has made tremendous strides to embrace the arts and its artists over the last two or three decades, there is still more that both can do to reclaim the arts and imagination for God’s glory.
I’m greatly encouraged to see more churches embrace and support its artists, not only by making them part of the worship service, but also providing encouragement and support outside of the church’s walls.
There are many churches that now have pastors and affinity groups for artists.
And there are more Christian colleges offering degrees in nearly every artistic discipline today than there were even a decade ago.
A Call to Christian Artists
My appeal to Christian artists today, who by nature tend to be isolated because of their work and temperament, is to become part of the body of Christ and submit their lives to the oversight of a pastor, preferably one who understands the blessings of their gift and the temptations and potential pitfalls artists face every day as they pursue their calling and hone their craft.
If God puts such a high value on the arts, so should we. But not, as Ryken states, only for arts’ sake, but for God’s.
I’d love to know what your experience with the arts has been, either as a pastor, an artist, or an observer.
Smart Christians: 7 Ways to Grow a Mature Mind
“Smart Christian.”
Sounds like an oxymoron, right?
Ask some people and they’d tell you it isn’t merely an oxymoron…
But an impossibility…
Using charged language like “gullible, closed-minded and stupid” to describe Christians.
But we have a rich history of smart people.
People like Augustine, Boethius, Aquinas, Anselm, Calvin, Luther and Jonathan Edwards.
Christians who struggled with and fought for the faith by using their God-given powers of the mind.
But there’s another reason why being a smart Christian is important: When we grow a mature mind, it helps us fight against the corruption of this world.
This is what Paul said about the topic:
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
And what’s the best way to renew your mind? Here are seven suggestions.
Memorize Scripture
This is a perennial favorite. In fact, I can’t think of a better way to re-wire our minds than systematically filling it with the Word of God. Devour entire chapters. Even books. Here are 18 tricks to help you.
Read Through Your Bible Every Year
Next to memorizing scripture, reading through the Bible once a year is another good way to grow a mature Christian mind. Wanna go extreme? Read the Bible in 76 hours.
Earn a Fake Masters with Other Believers
Me, Don and a handful of others are going to master the Old Testament. We’re using Wave to communicate, online resources and a host of books. Lot of work ahead of us, but with this many guys holding each other accountable, we’ll be a whole lot more biblically smart than we were before we started.
Start a Secret Church
David Platt wondered: “If overseas believers are hungry enough for the Word to sit for 10-hour stretches studying it, would his own congregation?” Indeed, it was. How can you host your own secret church? Find a teacher, pick a topic, hustle together a group of believers and pour over the Word for hours on end.
Throw Yourself into Wild Evangelism
I don’t think we can ever seriously suggest that we have mature minds until we actually take what we learn into the dirty business of life. It’s not until our nice theologies collide with real life do we enter a new level of maturity. My 5-day trip to Mardi Gras opened up my eyes to serious flaws in my own mind. I re-negotiated a lot.
Invite an Atheist to Lunch
On the same vein with the above, sit down and talk to a non-believer. Make friends with them. Get to know them. And get to know yourself and what you believe. Heck, take some time and interview 10 atheists. Revelations are ample when you interact with non-believers. It forces you to go back to the Bible and evaluate what you know and what they know. A healthy event for your mind and heart.
Pray Every Morning for Thirty Minutes
We can’t grow mature minds unless we interact with the creator of that mind. Pray for wisdom like Solomon did. Pray for humility. Illumination.
Listen, we’re not after a wisdom of this age. No. We’re after the mind of Christ. We’re after that knowledge that transforms our new self into the image of our Creator.
That’s a smart Christian.
And here’s the trap I don’t want to fall into: Thinking our intellect is the end all be all.
Our minds are just as corrupted by the Fall as our emotions and will. Thus, in the end, the goal of suggestions like these is to bring our mind, emotions and will into obedience to the Word of God.
Your Turn: How do you renew your mind? Do you agree with all of my suggestions? Is there any you’d add? Or does this whole topic of “smart” Christians make your skin crawl? I look forward to hearing from you.
The Simple, Bare-Bones Secret to Radical Faith
Back in the early 19th century British Protestant missionary to China C. T. Studd said:
“Too long have we been waiting for one another to begin! The time for waiting is past!…
“Should such men as we fear?
“Before the whole world, aye, before the sleepy, luke-warm, faithless, namby-pamby Christian world, we will dare to trust our God,..and we will do it with His joy unspeakable singing aloud in our hearts.
“We will a thousand times sooner die trusting only in our God than live trusting in man.
“And when we come to this position the battle is already won, and the end of the glorious campaign in sight.
“We will have the real Holiness of God, not the sickly stuff of talk and dainty words and pretty thoughts; we will have a Masculine Holiness, one of daring faith and works of Jesus Christ.”
A manly, near-reckless faith. Where does one get that? Great question. First, let me explain what I’m doing this week.
Here’s the deal: I want to devote the entire week to what I started yesterday as a review of David Platt’s book Radical.
That book is simply too rich to compress into one 1,000 word post. And simply too valuable to drop after just one day.
We need to expand. So let’s go.
Resisting Typical Expectations
Arguably the best chapter in Radical is the second to the last: “Living When Dying Is Gain.” That chapter can be summed up like this:
The stories we hear about believers who are hated, beat and killed in distant countries are stories about people who’ve found a desire deeper than the basic human will for self-preservation: the desire to serve Christ and be his witness.
This desire even trumps the fear of death.
In fact, death isn’t viewed as an enemy and a coffin as a rot box. They’re viewed as a reward and a launching pad. This is the essence of what Jesus taught in Matthew 10:38-39:
And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
Thus, when talented young men and women dismiss the expectations and promises of the world to live in filthy Palestinian refugee camps on the outskirts of Egypt…
Or in dilapidated section 8 housing in dangerous urban neighborhoods to share the gospel with the people who live there…
Only to die in obscurity a few months or years later…
Their lives are not a waste and neither are their deaths a tragedy. Rather, those lives are treasures and those deaths rewards.
Let me explain what I mean by that.
Death Is Dead to Me
The Bible teaches us that the instant we die we are ushered into the presence of Christ.
In that instant we glimpse God’s glory and unimaginable majesty. Remember, this is the great reward of the gospel: God himself.
But WAY too many Christian’s have lost that vision. A vision confiscated by the American Dream.
See, when we accept the reality that death is nothing more than a line we cross between life and God’s presence, something happens to us: We embrace a near-reckless devotion to spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ.
This is the way Paul puts it:
When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:54-57
Death has been conquered. And victory secured. What do we have to fear?
Don’t Make This Mistake
Some people bristle at the notion of setting our minds on death and the afterlife because they believe it makes us worthless here on the earth.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
The person who sets his mind on heaven knows that his destiny is secure and glorious. He’s free to live the most radical life of love and sacrifice here on earth.
Listen. The hope of safety in the afterlife cures us of timidity, fear and hopelessness. It releases a radical, risk-taking love that baffles skeptics and forces them to ask for the reason for the hope that is in us.
When you invest emotional and mental equity into the hope that death is reward and the doorway to our savior, you’ll be set free to live a fearless, near-reckless life of love and sacrifice.
That’s the kind of believer the modern church should be training and churning out. What can we do to make that happen in our own churches? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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