Fallen and Flawed

Thanks for sharing this, Damien. I have enjoyed the atheist interviews and look forward (especially after this which was both encouraging and edifying) to your ex-atheist interviews. Please keep them coming!

Good to hear from you, Bill. I appreciate the kind words and I look forward to the series, too.

I love your answer to number five.
Here is a question: You rejected Christianity for being silly, as a whole, but what was the hardest part for you to digest after you made a decision to immerse yourself in Christ? What was the single hardest part for you to accept?

Ditto. Thanks for sharing this.

Don, giving up MY hopes, dreams and ambitions. Like I said, I immersed myself deep in what I determined what my life was going to be about. The hardest part was, “Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.”

I say it was hard, but, as any born again believer knows…God gives you the grace that sustains you.

A big loss to the apatheist community, I’m sure. Sucks to hear that you have to suffer persecution from America’s most hated minority.

Seriously though, it sounds like no argument convinced you of atheism and no argument convinced you of Christianity. I’m sure you would say that Christianity is right now, but wouldn’t you have said the same thing about atheism earlier? How should an objective outsider decide?

“Apatheist,” I like that. At first I thought it was a typo.

Frankly, if that outsider is interested, he should open a Bible and start reading John. Or Romans. And pray to God to help him see the truth. That’d be my advice.

Good interview. Sounded like you and the interviewer were pretty much in tune.

I agree with your assessment of John Piper. I don’t think any one modern preacher has helped me as much as Piper has. Blessings!

Barry, “Sounded like you and the interviewer were pretty much in tune.”

It helps.

Wow! Thanks for expounding upon your journey to Christ Demian! It was really great to see some of the things that you wrestled with before the Lord brought you back!

Keep up the great work my friend! You’re a very talented writer & God is going to continue to use you & the gifts that He’s graciously given you to glorify Him!

Thank you very much, Cameron.

D,
It never ceases to amaze me to hear how God calls us to himself, speaking in a voice and manner that resonates uniquely with each one of us.

I’m glad you heard and obeyed.

Your family, your job and this blog are bearing wonderful fruit.

And I’m looking forward to seeing what the future holds for you.

Keep up the diligent work.

Blessings!

Ah, Richard, it’s always a treat to hear from you, friend. And thank you for the kind words. Pray for me, as always.

Hi, one of the things you said brought you to Christianity was the “clearly substantiated” life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I’m curious where it was clearly substantiated for you.

Thanks for this Demian.

I’ve learned a lot from your Interview with an Atheist series, even had some sleepless nights thinking about how some of the engagements went so far off the ropes (with their ground rules seeming to be laid), and trying to decide whether to engage or not, as it seemed to me to be a kind of casting pearls.. etc.

But I love what you said here, “However, I’ve learned, especially through my blog, that it’s not about winning arguments. It’s about a clear articulation of the Gospel.

That’s what matters. Everything else is peripheral.”

I couldn’t agree more. And you and others have been faithful to do that in the Atheist series.

And your answer to #14 is the sweetest truth of the whole Christian life, imo. It’s a balm to the soul.

Thanks again.

thanks Demian. I think I’m as excited about this series as I was about the “interview with an athiest” series. I enjoy your blog and am grateful for the thoughtfulness and prayer that you include in each post.

“The only reason I am a Christian is because of God’s mercy and grace. And the only reason I remain a Christian is because of God’s mercy and grace.” so true. i’m grateful for that mercy and grace in my life as well.

Wow, a confessional from an ex-atheist like this is actually a very good eye opener. I think I’ll something similar in my devotional blog. Thanks for sharing, Demian.

As long as everybody’s sharing their favorites among your answers, I’ll toss in mine. Theoretically, anyone can interview himself– ask a question & then answer it. But it takes a special kind of guy to complement himself for asking a “good question”! So, for that reason alone, I have to choose # 6.

But seriously, #s 6 & 7 are strong points, and I really like the whole thing and look forward to more.

…and, yeah– Tyro, that “apatheist” is classic. Thanks for a good chuckle.

Hope you’ll give Demian’s suggestion an honest attempt. What part of the Bible you begin with is less important than your attitude in reading it. That’s because the entire Volume focuses on the Lord Jesus Christ, but one’s preconceptions, pride, and fears can preclude any practical experience of learning.

[...] He has just kicked off his series of interviews with ex-atheists, starting with himself. It is always easier to read about people who believe the same things as yourself – so if you are a theist, atheist or agnostic – you should read some interviews from each side to get an idea of what other people think. [...]

Thank you for using your gift of writing for the Lord, even though what you are doing now might not match the dreams and ambitions you had. May God con’t to bless the work of your hands.

Thank you for your kind words, Yingzhi.

And you, too, Abigail and Emily. I always love hearing from you two.

I don’t want to appear rude, but after reading this interview, I can’t help but notice one thing. You weren’t really an atheist. Like you said, you basically just spent your time as an “atheist” drinking, reading Lao-Tzu and writing bad poetry. I guess it isn’t a big deal, but I wouldn’t classify you as an “ex-atheist.” As an atheist myself, I don’t want Christians getting the idea in their minds that it’s “oh-so-easy” to convert an atheist to Christianity.

What a FASCINATING story.

Playing Devil’s advocate, I think it’s fair to say you were never a ‘real’ Atheist. As you said, you didn’t research evolution or anything like that. My story is pretty much the opposite of yours (from a religious background to losing my faith) and it’s only by learning more than religion lost it’s relevance.

Like Quinn says above, if you were a ‘true’ Atheist I don’t think you could possibly have taken this path. Debating the existence of a higher power is one thing – accepting the very narrow explanation of Christian spirituality as (ha ha) ‘gospel’ is something else entirely.

I have enormous respect for you, though – both as a writer (this is a very moving piece) and as a human being.

Roland, thank you very much for the kind words. Means a lot. But I’m curious: What are the requirements to being a true atheist? Having trouble wrapping my mind around your statement. Thanks, sir.

D., you asked

“What are the requirements to being a true atheist?”

I posted a comment at http://www.fallenandflawed.com/believer-to-unbeliever-lie/comment-page-1/#comment-4361 that addresses your question…

I am a recent ex-atheist (well, somewhat recent, I opened my heart to Christ right around a year ago.) and happen to be going through a harsh moment of weakness. I feel I have a pretty vehement conviction towards following Christ but being that I am currently serving in the Navy, I am always on detachments and rarely, RARELY, have the time to commit myself to a like-minded community. I have been living out my devotion to Christ in solitude and I have been choking on thoughts the last few nights. The other day, a stranger mentioned how God is faithful and he knows that we are not good at being alone in our faith or at least not most of us and that He will meet our needs. She continued to point out that in Genesis it states that While the world was without blemish, God said it was not good for man to be alone.

That hit me relatively hard.. as if I had just hugged an oncoming train to be honest. So I guess my point in writing is to ask how often, in your experience, did you feel that you might have made a mistake, that maybe you had fooled yourself into believing for ulterior, yet unknown, reasons and how important is that community that seems to be so sought after, even in todays society where you have an overwhelming amount of the ‘profession’ as opposed to ‘possession’ believers?

I appreciate your interviews, keep up the good work!

@Quinn and Roland, okay, fair enough.

But would it be possible to categorize me as an agnostic?

If so, why does that matter? I’m curious.

In reality, what are you guys trying to say? And what difference does it make if I wasn’t an atheist?

But Quinn, I share your feelings about converting an atheist to a Christianity.

I’d go further and say it’s a lot harder than you think. In fact, impossible.

I have no illusions about converting non-believers. That’s why I believe it’s a sovereign work of God.

@Colton: That community is very important. And if you don’t have one where you are–start one.

Do you have a Bible? Ask anyone to study it weekly with you.

Also, what do you mean by making a mistake? Do you mean pre-Christ or post-Christ?

Certainly I have my fair share of doubts, but who doesn’t?

That’s why we’re given the Word of God and the Holy Spirit, to confirm the historical truths in our hearts.

This post on 5 reasons Christ is real should help. Feel free to email me, Colton.

Thanks alot.

sounds to me self-indulgent, self-righteous mambo jambo.alot of religious people sound either very martyr-like or savior-like. totally delusional. i am an ex christian. i find that you are unfair of calling yourself an aetheist or agnostic in the past when really you were just a confused drunkard on the verge of a divorse and needing a delusion to actually buy into your ‘profession’ so you can later call it a ‘possession.’ its a miracle because this desperately needed delusion actually saved your most valuable thing:your marriage.but nevertheless, it is a delusion believed to be true, it is no different to any other delusion made in do or die situations, it dosnt mean its god, it was a reaction to a situation, and many people react in different ways to a similar or identical or even worse situation to yours, willfully or not, gracefully or not, christian or not, so what makes a human reaction different to god?that’s right, none.you were not an aetheist, because it takes extensive knowledge about evolution to actually convert someone to aetheism. u cant just search wikipedia about aetheism or evolution or being agnostic (although its a start towards something at least), try reading ‘the god delusion’ by richard dawkins. although i am leaning towards aetheism, i will not lie. i wish i never read or knew anything about aetheism, but the evidence is undeniable, and not just that. in my last ditch effort to find any truth in religion because of my own personal pain, the nonsensical, ridiculuous and dangerous aspects of religiosity actually steered me farther away from religion.the clarity of science really destroyed my ego, which is good, because now i see clearly how my crazy christian evangelizing atitude in the past had been so ridiculous and ugly to the point of forceful and selfsacrificing and selfindulgent.i looked down on my atheist friends and thought they needed to be ’saved’. how shauvinistic and patronizing i was that they had to be the anomaly to be saved! the book really sums it up. the fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. your an imaginative writer, and that can lead to a sense of euphoria, a sense of delusion. i too was an artist, same experience, same gullibility. speaking of being a drunkard, i was once that too.now im sober, but it dont mean im christian.it is nearly impossible to become an atheist due to childhood indoctrination, but to my surprise, i am becoming the total opposite of what i used to be which was a maniacal christian handing out pamphlets and believing that god actually spoke in my head when really i created that dialogue in my head to comfort myself.im in my mid 20s, not too soon to realize i was once delusional.in religion you are taught to admire mystery without questioning it. but in atheism, you tend to see the world clearly, i mean not in a metaphorical sense that you so delusionally use in your blog, but i mean the world really makes so much sense and the evidence is abundant. everything is explained in the book, you never have to ask so much about the universe anymore, why people love, and why people created so many religions over time. promise if you read it (although ive never heard a christian read an atheist book, but many atheists have read the bible and quran), youll be astounded.being open minded doesnt mean merely being kind to your neighbors, no not at all! its about exploring other faiths and ideas to get a clear perspective, otherwise your view is ‘peripheral’. im sory to say d. that you mistaken peripheral view with something else.maybe the word atheism scares you, as it did me, because christians call it demon-worshipper.but think of it as a journey to critical thinking.you must be corrected about your past because, misleading people is dangerous, not because we are discriminating, just wanted to point that out, sorry if im more blunt than the other atheists here, but i believe theyr making the same point as i am.

Hi, eh “burythecastle.” You said, “sounds to me self-indulgent, self-righteous mambo jambo.”

Funny, I thought the same thing about your comment.

how is it self-indulgent to accept evidence even if you doint like it. and how is evidence mambo jambo. replying like a ping-pong ball without sound and detailed explanations is stupid. maybe you should enlighten me about the bible more. but no, christians are lazy, they cant respond intelligently to opinions that differ from theirs. it’s no surprise, because its their nature to rely soley on faith and be lazy in that respect. if they cant respond to evidence that is flat in their face, they just fill the gaps with fairies and a white-bearded dead jesus.wait, i gotta add a smiley to appear smart and sly;-)

this goes deeper than religion.your wife just bribed you into your marriage. that’s what christianity has done in history. your gullibility is sad. but really dam, i remember i was exactly like you when i was in highschool, bible studies and all, thinking my classmates were somewhite inferior cause most were catholics and a few atheists.now that im on the other side, i see how christians really were:delusional.in reality, whether u admit it or not, the bible is divisive and anti-semitic.it does not encourage the equal treatment of people. christianity, just like islam, was spread by the sword. but i guess your lazy reply would be ‘its god’s plan’.guess what, it’s also the muslim god’s plan to crash planes into the twin buildings.your religion is all the same. history will be repeated as long as people lyk you keep making excuses for god. anywho, its your choice to be christian. just putting my two cents in, that’s what message boards are about, to open you mind to other responses, not just kiss-asses.times are changing, there’s no looking back. bye.

Hi burythecastle. I haven’t seen evidence from you yet, just sweeping statements. Am I missing something? Why do you get to do it and I don’t?

Listen, while I get the warm and fuzzies reading your comments, this just isn’t going to work. It’s not you. It’s me.

See, I’m lazy, hostile, ignorant, foolish, gullible. I’m prone to make statements without substance. Given to caricatures. Most unlike you.

But I’ll make you a deal: Stick around long enough and I’ll try to answer your questions. Your open-minded responses.

My guess is you’re not interested in hearing what I have to say. But I’ll do this for you, too: Pray for you. That God would be merciful to you and open your eyes, soften your heart. And I hope he does that before you die.

Take care.

[...] Demian the ex-atheist interviews himself. [...]

You’re just a typical Christian who conformed to the love and warmth of a false being because your life was going down the gurgler. Well done.

Eh. If it makes you feel good about your own life, more power to you. But … I doubt you ever really thought deeply about atheism, or really identified with it in any profound way. I’ve met a number of people who claim to be atheists, and I don’t begrudge them the use of the title, but I don’t know how a person can have any degree of authentic understanding and appreciation for the real world, and then give that up in order to submerge themselves in a fairly recent religious sect.

This thing with your wife and your marriage – something of the same thing happened to my brother. He got into a place of extreme stress in his marriage, and one day just broke. Saw him on Friday, he was my brother. Saw him on Monday, it was like some completely new person had moved into his head. He couldn’t say a single whole sentence without mentioning God or Jesus. It was creepy.

Stress conversions to religion are common, seems to me. Accidents, health issues, marital problems, etc., any of those things can flip a person over. Probably most of the people it happens to won’t claim to have been atheists – although I’ll bet that will happen more and more in the current social climate, in which religion is taking a beating and will get more and more sales-pitchy in response.

I see that your original post here is about a year old. My experience with my brother and with a few other friends is that the evangelical phase of religious conversion lasts a year or two, then cools down to a more sane norm. My friend Mike got over it completely, and gave up religiosity, but my brother got into it in a really deep, nutty way. Last I heard from him, he was planning on buying some mountain property in Arkansas and starting his own little End Times church.

Damien, I’m always interested in the shape or extent of religiosity in people’s heads. It would be interesting to have a conversation with you, in order to feel out how it’s playing out in yours.

For instance: Do you believe Adam and Eve actually existed? Do you buy into faith healing? Is Hell a real place? How does the concept of evolution strike you? Is Harry Potter really satanic? Is it a good idea for churches to proselytize their flocks on the “right” candidate to vote for, or for the Mormon Church in Utah to spend millions on defeating a ballot measure in a different state, California? Are homosexuals bound for Hell? Should Catholic hospitals be allowed to refuse hiring on the basis of the applicant’s religion, or lack of it (and what do you think might happen if you went into a Catholic hospital as a public atheist)? Is abortion murder? And if you think it is, do you also, as so many fundamentalist Christians do, oppose all forms of birth control, sex education, and even vaccinations against certain STDs? Why do you suppose science and reason have revolutionized human society, whereas religion by itself has resulted in no tangible advances? Should atheists be allowed to hold public office? Do you think atheists, lacking belief in gods, also lack any sense of morality, and would thus automatically rape, murder and steal at will? Do you think the atheism of Stalin is the same as the atheism of Richard Dawkins? Is the End of the World nigh? If you were to relate your ultimate allegiance, would it be to the United States, or to God? In other words, given a federal election, health or anti-discrimination law that you felt violated your personal beliefs, would you feel okay with disobeying it in order to serve Jesus? And finally, was it a good thing that God sent she-bears to rend a crowd of children for making fun of a prophet’s bald head? Do you suppose that REALLY happened?

Have any of you read the history of the bible. Jesus was not declared divine until the third century. It was started with a corrupt Catholic church and has been edited so many times it is total chaos. Like an old saying. Don’t let the facts get in the way of what you believe. Of course I am very skeptical if you were an atheist at all. I suggest a book worth reading. ” Divine Right- The Truth is a Lie. “

It’s always a shame to see someone give up reason for the warm and fuzzy feeling of being a cult member. So sad…

Hopefully, you’ll find the strength to cut yourself off from its exploitative and immortal dogmata, ony day.

Stopped reading after “…as I started to read the Bible and people like Ray Comfort, John MacArthur and Jonathan Edwards…was that I’d been deceived.”
Ray Comfort??? The biggest idiot ever proselytized! Guys like this convinced you into Christianity??? I feel sorry for you…

Food for thought if you want to think. Everyone is born an atheist.You had no faith or belief untill religion was drilled into you. Did you ever think if you were born into a Hindu family you would believe in many gods. It seems it is all a question of where you were born and raised as to what religion you are going to be.

Thank you for sharing your testimony. God bless you for this man. Atheism is inconsistent in just about everything. infant or not TRUTH remains as it is whether religious or irreligious ‘drilled into you.’ I’m a former satanists and now freed from the shacle of sin.

I forgot. Keep up the good work!

If the author of this page recieved an answer from god to start this site, why did he have to talk to friends about it ?