My Salvation Story
John the Baptist
**Part of the Curmudgeon’s Guide to Sharing Your Faith series.**
Most people’s testimony starts with a date. Possibly a time. Likely a location. Sometimes a person. Mine starts in much the same way.
Late November of 1996, in Granite City, IL, my aunt led me to the Lord. Quite dramatically my life changed.
I stopped drinking, sleeping around and started going to church. I eventually met my wife, got a job, created children, bought a home and spent a lot of time at church: whether in worship, teaching Sunday school or acting in church-sponsored dramas.
I was what you might call a typical Christian. But something was wrong. Very wrong.
Destroying My Family
Throughout the first ten years of my so called Christian walk, I obsessed about one thing–and one thing only.
Becoming a world famous writer.
Much to the disappointment of my wife, this ambition took first place to everything else–my marriage, children, work and even church.
To give you an example of what this drive did to me, I quite often found myself thinking that I would have to sacrifice my children for this ambition–and that it was quite natural to do that. That this was a necessary part of becoming a world famous writer–neglect your wife and children for the sake of art.
Naturally I thought and worried about the tragedy my children would grow up to be if this came true–but I’d have to live with that. It’s the price I’d have to pay to become that world class writer.
As I said, I was driven, single-mindedly, by one thing. And it wasn’t Christ.
Woefully Detached and Rebellious
But that didn’t concern me. Should have. Just like the “check engine” light in your car, it was a warning that something was off. A warning that I wasn’t the person I said I was.
But I didn’t care.
Yes, I prayed the sinners prayer. Made a decision to accept Christ. Believed he died for my sins–even to the point that I agreed that I was a sinner and that confessing Christ as my Savior would get me a ticket into heaven.
Don’t get me wrong–my mind bought into everything. But my heart was woefully detached and rebellious. I was, in a word, not a true Christian.
How do I know this? On November 30, 2007, I got my clock cleaned in an awful way.
The Day My World Collapsed
Collapsed bridge in China
November 30, 2007, is the date that my wife discovered–quite innocently–that I had been unfaithful to her. Not physically, but emotionally.
Her world fell apart. As well as mine. In the heat of that day she said she wanted a divorce. I collapsed, overwhelmed by the reality of what was happening.
My father’s marriage ended in divorce. His father’s first marriage ended in divorce. As a product of a divorce–I vowed never to divorce.
But something so stupid, so silly as flirting with a woman who wasn’t my wife, was about to pull my world out from under me.
What It Really Means to Be a Christian
On that day I begged my wife for mercy and in that begging I promised to give up everything that didn’t contribute to our marriage. Among other things, that meant I had to:
- Abandon my membership in the local writer’s guild.
- End dozens of relationships with secular writers.
- Quit a publication that I helped start and even ran.
- Lay down my ambition to become a world-famous writer.
Naturally, I wallowed in a pit of anxiety as I struggled to find out who I really was.
Only gradually, over time, did it dawn on me that this is exactly what Christ meant when he said, “If you want to follow me, deny yourself and take up your cross, and come after me.”
What I was experiencing was the very renunciation of life that is required to become a biblical Christian. But the most startling realization came in the months following November 30.
11 Biblical Tests of Genuine Salvation
During that time after November 30 while I read the Bible, listened to Ray Comfort, John Piper and John MacArthur and learned the basics of Christianity, I realized that for the last ten years I’d been deceived in thinking that I was a Christian.
How do I know I was deceived?
In the ten years that I thought I was a Christian, eleven things could be said about me–eleven things 1 John identifies as the difference between a true and false Christian:
1. Rarely, if ever, during that ten years, did I experience a close relationship with God.
2. I was insensitive to sin in my life. I managed to look quite pious and Christian on the outside while brewing with hypocrisy and unrighteousness on the inside.
3. Rarely, if ever, did I obey God’s commands. 1 John 2:4 says anyone who calls himself a Christian but habitually disobeys God is a liar.
4. Rather than rejecting it, I embraced this evil world. This evil world held the trophy I wanted–a reputation for being a world class writer.
5. I didn’t despise the sin in my flesh or long for Jesus’ return. In fact, I despised and even doubted Jesus’ return.
6. Sin did not decrease in my life, but continued and in some occasions even increased. The one who practices sin is of the devil.
7. I hated fellowship with Christians. They annoyed me, irritated me. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer.
8. I rarely experienced answered prayer. Why? I hardly prayed…I didn’t know what to pray for…and when I did pray, it usually involved half-hearted, unbiblical, self-centered requests. A sure formula for failure when praying.
9. For most of the fruits of the Holy Spirit Paul describes in Galatians, I could say I lacked. For the rest, they were grossly underdeveloped.
10. Didn’t know the difference between spiritual truth and error. I sorely missed the skill of separating divine truth from error.
11. And lastly, I rarely suffered persecution as a Christian. Frankly, I was ashamed of being a Christian, all to win man’s approval.
In summary, the trajectory of my Christian life during those ten years resembled a sinking line drive.
What My Life Looks Like Now
Naturally, you’re probably wondering how I’m fairing this side of November 30, 2007. Right?
Well, let me say this: there’s a gargantuan difference in my life.
- I crave alone time with God. Get up at 4:30 in the morning to read my Bible. And think about and talk with God constantly throughout the day.
- Not that I don’t ever sin–but now when I do sin, I’m horrified.
- My heartbeat is to obey God. To gear my life around his Word and His work. I don’t always do what He says, but when I don’t do it, I can hardly sleep at night.
- I hate the evil in this world. And when I am tempted, like I often am, I grieve over that temptation.
- My heart burns for the return of my Lord.
- The sin in my life has taken a nose dive. And I’m more aware of the smaller sins that I typically brushed off as inconsequential.
- I love the great Christian men in my life. I long to be with them. To study with them. To witness with them. And I despair over my weaker brothers.
- I’ve got a better eye for what God wants me to pray for. And I’ve got a passion to pray for other people. Something you would’ve never seen two years ago.
- My Bible study is expanding and I’m making inroads with people when sharing my faith that where never there before. Made possible by the Holy Spirit.
- I’m acutely aware of spiritual error–in myself and others.
- And finally–from flat-out rejection to more subtle accusations of stupidity–I’m suffering for Christ.
Let me close with this–anytime someone tells me they are a Christian, I’m skeptical. Especially if they base their confidence in salvation on a date and a decision.
So let me challenge you with this: examine yourself to see whether you are in the faith–something Paul urges all of us to do. And if you pass these tests, 1 John 5:13 says, “you may know that you have eternal life.”
Listen. There’s no reason for you to spend your spiritual experience deluded or in the dumps. Yet thousands of Christians do.
Please, don’t be one of them.
Disclaimer: Deeply indebted to John MacArthur’s tiny book Is It Real? for the eleven biblical tests of true salvation.
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23 Comments to My Salvation Story
wow demian. thank you for sharing. i’m rejoicing with you at God’s goodness to you. thanks for your humility and honesty in sharing.
Demian FarnworthMarch 12, 2009
Emily: I appreciate it. Thank you for your support. It means a lot.
AdamMarch 25, 2009
Thank you for your story. It is quite powerful. It seems that God is now using you and your skills as a writer to do great good in this world. Thanks.
Demian FarnworthMarch 25, 2009
Thanks Adam!
Demian,
I came across your site from John Piper’s. I am so glad I did. It is engaging and good to read. But now that I have read your story, I am even more excited about reading this site. Thanks so much for accepting that irresistible grace from Jesus Christ, our Lord.
Thanks for laying your soul out there for us.
-Don-
Demian FarnworthMarch 26, 2009
Don, thank you so much for your support. And there is nothing more that I want to do than exalt Jesus Christ. So, please pray for me, brother.
MikeMarch 28, 2009
Dude! That’s an awesome story. The BEST story you have ever written because it is the most important. I am glad to hear you realized you were tares and made a change to become the wheat. Keep writing brother! In my opinion you are a world class writer.
Warm regards. -MRF
Demian FarnworthMarch 28, 2009
Mike: You’re gonna make me cry.
alMarch 31, 2009
Demian, knowing your writing only from this blog and facebook, I esteem you as an out-of-this-world-class writer. Writing for fame would have been a life of vanity, but writing effectively for the kingdom of God as you now do is of eternal value. Write on!
I have been reading your posts for a few months….this one “must read” is a Must Read….I can so relate to your story. A false convert for over 20 years.. now soundly saved… glory be to God Almighty! And thanks to Ray Comforts “Hell’s Best Kept Secret”. Pastors John MacArthur, John Piper and Todd Friel also have had a significant part in pointing me to the way of Everlasting…. thanks for this post! And in case you have not been told recently… You Are a World Class Writer… only not of this World….
Great testimony. This is officially my latest “favorite” blog.
Demian FarnworthJune 22, 2009
Thank you, Barry!
Brother I know exactly where you are coming from and I can completely relate.
Praise God is all I can say.
JoshJuly 21, 2009
Great story.cn relate in so many ways.
MikeAugust 11, 2009
It is absolutely mind-blowing how much of myself I can see in your before/after story. I believed I was a Christian well over 10 years ago but I wasn’t living the life of one. I did the lip service and everyone thought I was a good Christian. Recently God brought about an event in my life that exposed the life I was hiding from everyone, my ’skeleton in the closet’ if you will, and it has caused a complete 180 in my life! Though it was and continues to be painful and the consequences may yet be severe, I thank God daily that He did it for me as it saved me from living the rest of my life in a pit of iniquity.
I also thank God for people like you who are a source of wisdom and knowledge for someone such as myself who needs to grow exponentially in the Lord! I am so glad I found your blog. Sorry this is such a late post but I only recently found this site. Keep up the great work!
Will RogersAugust 12, 2009
Are you still married you didn’t say in this post anyway? How has you ‘righten’ walk improved your marriage or being a father? Was your wife a christian too or is she now?
Demian FarnworthAugust 12, 2009
Still married. If you asked my wife and children, they’d prolly say, “There’s an improvement.” 
And yes, wife, was, is and will always be a Christian. By the grace of God, of course.
SamSeptember 22, 2009
God is so good!
Thanks for sharing this
Jonathan RoyFebruary 3, 2010
What a great testimony! 
Demian FarnworthFebruary 3, 2010
Thanks Jonathan!
Powerful testimony, Demian–Thank you for sharing this!
Demian FarnworthApril 14, 2010
You’re welcome Aaron. To God all the glory.
MelaniJune 18, 2010
Damian,
You missed the one and only test for genuine salvation. When Paul said to “examine yourself” he gave only one point of examination: “that Jesus Christ is in you–unless indeed you fail the test” (2Cor. 13:5).
Prior to the point of being indwelt by Jesus Christ, a person will have the Word of God sown into their hearts. The Word of God, like a seed sown in the ground, works supernaturally in the heart. The Spirit of God is working in hearts to convict of sin, righteousness, and the judgment. Some have the “light” of the lives of believers around them and that impacts them. (Matt 5:16). God will also send others to water the Word (1Cor. 3:6, 7) There will be time between the initial sowing and the “harvest”– the response of faith, repenting, and calling on the name of the Lord to be saved. At that point, if you could segment a “moment of time” into a thousand bits, you would see a wondrous work of God in that life as the individual is baptized into the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. This detail is itemized in Romans chapters 5-8; Colossians 2 and elsewhere. It culminates in our being a cleansed and purified temple, fit for the indwelling presence of God (Jesus Christ), we are made priests of God, we are indwelt by Jesus Christ, and we are made “one spirit” with Him (1Cor. 6:17), and we are raised up with Christ and seated with Christ in the heavenly (Eph. 2:6). Jesus gives us His life, a gift of eternal life. (1John 5:11, 12– he who has the Son has the LIFE, he who does not have the Son of God does not have the LIFE.) The reception of this new life is the new birth, or regeneration. And this is the work of God that saves us: God sending the Spirit of His Son into our hearts to give us the gift of eternal life.
“We are SAVED by the washing of regeneration” (Titus 3:5), We are SAVED by His life (Rom. 5:10), and when we are “made alive with Jesus Christ, by grace we have been SAVED” (Eph. 2:5).
As to the life a person leads after they receive Christ… We are given two types of examples in the Word of God. In 1Cor. 3, Paul uses the analogy to a building. Christ is the foundation. There is no other foundation that can be laid… but after the foundation men will build with wood, hay and stubble, or gold, silver, and precious stones. We all will face going through the fire. Unfortunately, some will find that their whole life’s effort will burn, except for the foundation. Paul says of these unfruitful believers, “they will suffer loss, but he himself will be saved, yet so as by fire” (1Cor. 3:15).
The first few years of your Christian life seems to have been built with poor materials. But if you placed your faith into Jesus Christ (faith, repentance and calling upon the name of the Lord), then I believe that God did what Paul said He would do, “Call upon the name of the Lord and you will be saved”. If you called, then God saved you, and sent His Son to live in your heart, with the promise that He would never leave or forsake you.
God’s other analogy is agricultural. He wants us to bear good fruit. Jesus tells us what keeps us from bearing good fruit in the parable of the sower. If a person doesn’t grow in the word, getting rooted and grounded in love, then when he faces trials, he will not be able to produce the fruit that God would like to see. Or there are the weeds and thorns of the Christian life: the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in will choke the Word, causing the life to be unfruitful (Mark 4:19). Praise the Lord, “He who began a good work in us will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”! Like a good daddy He will discipline and/or prune us and help to motivate us toward the fruit that He created us to bear. (One of the benefits of being a poor gardener is all of the spiritual analogies fleshed out before my eyes. If my vegetable plant does not produce the proper vegetables because it didn’t get properly rooted, or because the weeds choked it out, I do not say it wasn’t really a vegetable plant after all, contrary to some “theologians”. I also see how vigelent I need to be to keep those weeds out of my garden. I find it is much easier to get rid of the weeds when they are small. Some weed roots can be very difficult to remove if they get too established, and if you do not remove all of the root, then it is a given that you will see that same weed, in the same place again…)
So all of us need to be passionate about getting the Word of God into our lives. It is great to see you motivating and equipping others to do just that with your blog. We need to know that the weeds never stop growing, and learn how to keep pulling them out when we first see them. And when we face trials, or suffer from someone elses sin, we need to remember that our responsse is builing upon our foundation. Will we build with wood, hay or stubble? Or will we let the Spirit empower us toward the gold, silver and precious stones.
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March 11, 2009